


We should kill Zeus because he fucking sucks.

by spacegaylien



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
Genre: Fuck Zeus in the bad way, Fuck all the Greek gods, I hate them., Other, You should hate them too., Zeus especially, all the content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:06:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29776593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegaylien/pseuds/spacegaylien
Summary: Do it, pussy, you won't.
Relationships: Zeus/a pile of shit





	We should kill Zeus because he fucking sucks.

Zeus was a bad, bad man and a little bitch boy. He was a man penis, which means he was gross and disgusting and nobody loved him. He should have been sad all the time but he was too busy thinking he was the bee's knees or something, but really he wasn't and Hades is way cooler than him. Except when he kidnapped his niece when she was fucking twelve or something and tried to force her to marry him. Hades was and incestuous pedophile and fucking cum. I take it back, he isn't fucking cool. Fuck him. I hate him. Demeter didn't deserve it. She might be the only Greek god who was kind of okay.

Persephone didn't deserve it. 

I guess all the gods were kind of incestuous pedophiles though. Artemis wasn't, but she was a slut shaming bitch and she murdered people who saw her naked on accident.

Zeus was the worst though. I hate him. I hate him so much. He should be dead. He's fictional and immortal, but he should be dead anyway because I hate him.

You see, Zeus was a man cock with a cock and his cock had an asshole instead of urethra, so he just walked around shitting himself out of his dick all the time. Instead of cumming in them when he raped them, he filled them up with feces, which is disgusting.

Do you think Zeus ever had consensual sex ever? I fucking doubt it. He probably got off on exerting his power over innocent people who didn't deserve it. He was hot for himself and how powerful he was. He was a god and he had all the money and land and owned everything so he could just do what he wanted whenever he wanted because FUCK EVERYTHING.

Which he kind of did. He fucked everything.

With his shitty man dick.

One day as he was jerking off to his reflection and busted a nut so big he had created a sentient pile of poop just an inch taller than he was, which made Zeus feel emasculated.

But he was also turned on by his power and the strange and shitty creature he had created.

"Hello," said the shit person (haha, it was Zeus who said that because he's shit, not the anthropomorphic shit.)

"Heyo, bruh," the anthropomorphic shit creature said, because they were very cool and hip with the kids, which made Zeus feel old. He was old though. Old men are the worst. If you're an old man, fuck you. There's like a 1% chance you're okay. Maybe that's a bit harsh. I don't know that many old men. Men of all ages are kind of shit. But some of them aren't. Maybe you aren't. Maybe you're a beautiful being of light and happiness. If so, that's good. Keep doing you, buddy.

Then Zeus realized that he was technically the poop's daddy. 

"Yes, you are in fact my Daddy," the anthropomorphic poop said. It was omniscient because why the fuck wouldn't it be? Zeus felt very seen, as this creature understood his thoughts. But also he didn't care about it because he was a narcissist who only cared about himself.

But he had to admit that his newly created child (ew, is it pedophilia if it's a pile of ejaculated poop that talks and knows everything? I guess not. If it knows everything it can probably consent. But even if it were, Zeus definitely wasn't above it because he was garbage.) was pretty fucking sexy.

"I also find you incredibly sexy, Daddy," said the creature formed of Zeus' shit cum. "I want to make you into my little bitch." 

"Wait, what?" said Zeus. Manly men didn't get fucked. Sadist pedos like Zeus didn't get fucked. They did the fucking. Getting fucked was emasculating. And Zeus was super manly.

"I understand that you are hesitant," said the omniscient poopy, "but I know everything, so I guarantee you'll love it." The poop creature morphed into an especially smug Lenny face. They reached out with tendrils of shit that were now rock hard but also flexible, because magic. I don't know. Who cares? The tendrils slipped under Zeus' masculine-at-the-time dress and one entered his godly anus (the one that wasn't on his dick). but then another one entered the anus that was on his dick where his urethra would have been if I had decided that he should have typical human junk. Which I didn't.

I am the ultimate puppeteer. With only a laptop, fluency in English, and the knowledge of how to write, I am in complete control of these characters' lives. I can make them do anything I want them to. For example, I could make Hades burst in on a cloud of farts and rainbows wearing a maid uniform and give Zeus a homoerotic lap dance. I could insert myself into the story and kill Zeus for good with a giant fucking flamethrower. I could kill all the deities. Or I could put them into a very tense Thanksgiving dinner with the family where they all hate each other but also want to fuck each other, but that would be boring because that's basically all the time. I could suddenly switch tracks and start talking about how cute my cat is and also all the ways US sex education is fucked. 

I didn't do any of those things.

The poop creatures poopy tendrils inserted themselves into Zeus, one into each of his assholes. It hurt badly because the poop creature had not prepped Zeus properly. But they rubbed the tips of their tendrils against Zeus' prostate and that did feel kind of good. He just took it. He was his child's bitch.

His child inserted one more shit tentacle in each of Zeus' assholes. And then a third. And then a fourth. And then a fifth. And then a sixth. And then a seventh. And then and eighth. And then a ninth. and then a tenth. And then an eleventh. And then a twelfth. And then a thirteenth. And then a fourteenth. And then a fifteenth. And then a sixteenth. and then a seventeenth. And then an eighteenth. And then a nineteenth. and then a twentieth. And then a twenty-first. And then a twenty-second. And then a twenty-third. And then a twenty-fourth. And then a twenty-fifth. And then a twenty-sixth. And then a twenty-seventh. And then a twenty-eighth. And then a twenty-ninth. And then a thirtieth. and then a thirty-first. And then a thirty-second. And then a thirty-third. And then a thirty-fourth. And then a thirty-fifth. And then a thirty-sixth. And then a thirty-seventh. And then a thirty-eighth. And then a thirty-ninth. And then a fortieth. And then a forty-first. And then a forty-second. And then a forty-third. And then a forty-fourth. And then a forty-fifth. And then a forty-sixth. And then a forty-seventh. And then a forty-eighth. And then a forty-ninth. And then a fiftieth. And then a fifty-first. And then a fifty-second. And then a fifty-third. And then a fifty-fourth. And then a fifty-fifth. And then a fifty-sixth. And then a fifty-seventh. And then a fifty-eighth. And then a fifty-ninth. And then a sixtieth. And then a sixty-first. And then a sixty-second. And then a sixty-third. And then a sixty-fourth. And then a sixty-fifth. And then a sixty-sixth. And then a sixty-seventh. And then a sixty-eighth. And then a sixty ninth.

Writing all that out was an excellent use of my time.

Zeus was even more full of shit than he already was. The intrusion tore Zeus into pieces. His rectums were destroyed. His whole body was literally split in half.

But he respawned good as new because of fucking course he did. The poop monster disappeared into the mist. 

Then Hades appeared on a cloud of farts and rainbows. He was wearing a maid uniform. He gave me a lap dance but I was very uncomfortable because I am not attracted to asshole pedophiles who force their sisters' very underage children to marry them. I'm not sure why I made him do that. At least he had the confidence to wear something that challenged the traditional opinions on what it was acceptable for Greek gods of the Underworld to wear.

I didn't respect him for it because I have no respect for asshole pedophiles who force their sisters' very underage children to marry them. 

Zeus' experience with the poop monster didn't change him. He had always been an asshole. He will always be an asshole. I will never have respect for him.

But HEY. He had some FUCKING LIGHTNING BOLTS. 

p.s. gagina has an arm kink, a thigh kink, a finger kink, a face kink, an eye kink, a skin kink, a foot fetish, a whisper kink, an anonymous kink, an Asian kink, an ass kink, a British kink, an accent kink, a kiss kink, a hug kink, a facefuck kink, a ball licking kink, an oil kink, and whole bunch of other kinks I don't even know about.


End file.
